"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; none but ourselves can free our minds." - Bob Marley
You Have To See This

Network

dir. Sidney Lumet, 1976

June 14, 2010

Network Poster 2

For several years of my life, I boldly inhabited the wonderful world of trying to sell screenplays, so I’ve had more than a few conversations with screenwriters, almost all of whom, regardless of their personal gifts or lack thereof, are happy to heap praise on Paddy Chayefsky’s theatrically unbridled script for “Network,” a blistering satire of America’s obsession with television that’s simultaneously as brilliant and maddening as any movie you’re likely to see.

I have some problems with “Network,” and I don't think they're unfounded. There are moments when Chayevsky’s dialogue - and, regardless of several award-winning performances, the dialogue is the ultimate star here - swings like a pendulum between profound insight and the kind of blathering you might hear from a loquacious communications professor who thinks he’s the only person alive who’s recognized that the world may very well be fucked beyond repair.

A big stink was made at the time "Network" was originally released about Chayefsky’s iron-clad contract, which said not one syllable of his script could be changed without his consent. If you’re not a writer-director, such worshipful adherence to the text is virtually unheard of in modern movies; most writers’ work is trampled by committee before the cameras even roll.

The problem is, if ever there was a brilliant screenwriter who needed somebody to occasionally say, “Okay, enough already,” it was Chayefsky. Surely, director Sidney Lumet, who’s made some terrific movies over the years, would have dumped one or two of Chayefsky’s more abundantly verbose diatribes in favor of something that more closely resembles life here on earth. But he couldn’t.

As it stands, “Network” is wall-to-wall with characters who unfailingly employ the exact adjective or simile that shoots what they’re saying into the black comedy stratosphere, where it hangs suspended among the twinkly stars and really, really smart people who have the schooling and aggression to become verbal astronauts. Virtually no one in “Network” is ever stumped for an answer, and I think the picture would have benefited had Chayefsky included a periodic breather from the endless bada-bing-bada-boom, the way your supposed to when you’re balancing out the components of a script.

That said, there are stretches of dialogue here that are as effectively caustic as anything this side of “Dr. Strangelove,” the cast is uniformly superb, and Chayevsky’s predictions of where the boob tube was heading were at least 25 years ahead of the game when he was putting them down on paper. On a manual typewriter.

                                                ***

Mad as Hell

I can remember watching “Network” for the first time in 1980 and thinking Chayefsky’s vision, though enormously compelling, verged on science fiction. A national television network pandering so vigorously to the lowest common denominator it turns its news department into a lunatic fringe freak show featuring a screed-delivering zealot who’s convinced he’s a mouthpiece for God was so far removed from the mere news-hour sensationalism that was taking hold at the time, it hardly stood as an authentic fear. And following a bunch of communist radicals with network cameras in the hope that they’ll do something sufficiently sociopathic to garner a fat rating was way, way beyond the pale. Wasn’t it?

Well, it's amazing what Fox News and an onslaught of reality programming will do for an over-the-top “satire.”

Since its release in 1976, “Network” has morphed into one of the more staggeringly prescient films ever made. The degree with which Chayefsky nails programming trends that weren’t even a glimmer in a money-grubbing producer’s eye back in the 70s is beyond eerie...that is, when you aren’t choking on rueful laughter.

                                                ***

Peter Finch (who won a posthumous best actor Oscar for his charmingly unhinged performance) stars as Howard Beale, a longtime anchor for the “UBS Evening News” who finally cracks from the pressure of being a modern human being. Howard’s best friend, Max Schumacher (William Holden, looking like a craggy monument to old-school cigarettes, steaks, and booze) is the president of UBS, and he’s expected to take the reigns and figure out what to do with poor Howard after the newscaster makes a rather unexpected announcement at the top of his show one evening. (Due to Warner Bros. moronic policy of not allowing bloggers to promote their back catalogue via embedded clips, you’ll have to click here to watch the scene.)

Dunaway in Network

Howard, of course, needs professional help. But when a beautiful programming executive named Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway, who also won an Oscar for her work) sees her chance to climb the network ladder by promoting Howard’s colorful insanity on the air rather than encouraging him to seek out a therapist, UBS sees its viewing numbers rise. Max, a happily married man who will find himself caught up in a ridiculous affair with Diana, attempts to be the voice of reason and protect his old friend. He even has Howard sleeping on the couch in his living room to keep him from hurting himself, but Howard quickly goes missing.

When Diana and her boss, an even more vicious careerist named Frank Hackett (Robert Duvall, in a domineering, giddily despicable turn) finally put the screws to Max and wrestle the news department into the entertainment division of the network, the real fireworks begin. (Click
here.)

On the same day that Max is dumped from his long-time post, Howard wanders in a daze into UBS’s studio, soaked from a downpour and ready to appear on the news. But he’s not so ready to deliver a newscast. Instead, he launches into an audience-galvanizing tirade against the ills of contemporary life that won Finch his Oscar and has become one of the genuinely iconic scenes of 1970s commercial cinema. (Click here.)

The “I’m as mad as hell” speech is indicative of what Chayefsky does best throughout “Network.” The most effective scenes are the ones where he doesn’t necessarily have to worry about character development or advancing the plot. Instead, everything comes to a standstill for a set piece that allows a certain character, or a group of characters, to act like absurdist archetypes, products of the pressure to maintain an even keel in a society that values humanity less and less in favor of power and the almighty dollar.

They’re soul-poisoned, and Chayefsky gets a palpable kick out of letting them parade their sickness for our amusement. This is more the work of a playwright than a screenwriter, when you get right down to it. But Chayefsky is so entertainingly pissed off, I’m willing to accept that he’s left the movie behind again in favor of yet another full-bodied rant.

A prime example of this is a corker of a contract negotiation involving the communist revolutionary group that Diana has decided deserves its own weekly TV show. A sprawl of agents and note-taking lawyers fill a beat-up living room and spittle flies as a group of radical insurrectionists debate how many points they’re going to receive on the back end of a network deal.

This is the scene where Chayefsky really whipped out the crystal ball. Sure, we’ve yet to see a reality show that encourages people to commit crimes for the benefit of a camera. But does it truly seem impossible at this point? How far will our voyeurism have to be pushed before enough is finally enough? Is there really a limit to what the masses will tolerate?

                                                ***

Holden - Network

But that’s the bombastic stuff. Character interactions that are supposed to be intimate too often sound “written” in "Network," to the point of outright absurdity, and Holden is usually the victim of Chayevsky’s inability to stop delivering a new Gettysburg Address every 5 minutes.

The scene in which Max tells his devoted wife, played by Beatrice Straight, that he’s leaving her for a younger, much dimmer woman is famous for being Straight’s only significant appearance in the movie, yet she won a best supporting actress Oscar for it. Straight is certainly intense, and I don’t fault her work at all— she’s very good; the pain on her face is almost too deep to look at directly. But my God, Holden has a handful of lines dissecting his relationship with Diana – stuff like, “She’s television generation; she learned life from Bugs Bunny” – that sound like rejected leads from a “New Yorker” magazine article.

Lumet - Network

Again, though, the high points in “Network” are so ridiculously elevated, the satire so wounding, it’s well worth showing some patience and rolling your eyes periodically while you wait out the missteps. Ultimately, I think Lumet deserves far more credit than he usually gets for keeping it all together.

It’s instructive to at least scan through “The Hospital,” another balls-out Chayefsky blab-fest that was directed by the much less gifted Arthur Hiller, after you watch “Network.” It'll illuminate just how deftly Lumet maintains momentum, even when Chayefsky is making characters state things that many people would have trouble spitting out if they were written on a cue card, and at such length you can just about make yourself a margarita before they’ve said their piece.

Lumet, like Chayefsky, got his start in live TV when the medium was still in its infancy, and he’s always retained a nuts-and-bolts method of filmmaking. That direct approach to storytelling usually keeps “Network” from seeming like an extended reading of a scroll and makes you feel these phonies are at least speaking from damaged hearts when they enter into their monologues. Lumet and his magnificent cast manage to make it seem like the characters genuinely believe their own self-serving bullshit. Isn’t that the real key to American life?

Paul Tatara

The Windmills Of My Mind

Download It #39: The Jam

June 10, 2010

Jam 1

Although they were so immovably British in both form and content they couldn’t get arrested on commercial American radio, the socially conscious punk-pop band, the Jam, were far and away the most popular group in England when they called it quits in 1982…and that massive success was supposed to be why they broke up!

At the time, Paul Weller - the Jam’s lead singer, key songwriter, and maniacal guitarist - basically said that the group was winning every music award in every conceivable category, their albums and 45s immediately shot to the upper reaches of the charts, and they could fill any hall in which they cared to play. So it was time to Try Something Different before he and his band mates, bassist-vocalist Bruce Foxton and drummer Rick Buckler, got too big for their working class hero britches and could no longer convey their raised-fist message. Better to quit, Weller insisted, while they were way, way ahead.

But I never believed Weller, not completely anyway, just as I only rarely believed his blue-eyed Socialist posturing with the Style Council, the group he formed shortly after the Jam’s demise. Weller was the kind of guy who’d write booming “let’s all get together, people” anthems and present himself onstage, in photos, and in videos as Jesus in a tailored suit, then act embarrassed when the masses expected him to give them a clue as to which direction they should charge.

But, man, he sure could write a musical call to arms, and, before his ego took over and the squabbling set in, the Jam rocked as ferociously as any group from the period. At the top of their game, these guys were plugged-in monsters. And they were nothing if not committed.

Foxton Jumping

Like Bruce Springsteen, an artist with whom he shared more traits than were immediately apparent 30 years ago, Weller wore his rock & roll fandom on his sleeve, and saw himself as the next step in a grand musical tradition. The Jam was at the forefront of the Mod revival that originally played out via bands like the Who, the Kinks, and the Faces in the mid-1960s.

The Mods, as opposed to their arch enemies, the leather-clad Rockers, were pill-popping R&B-heads who accelerated and amplified American soul music to meet their dilated pupil needs, and they sported super-crisp threads while they did it. In the Jam’s early days, Weller simply added a degree of savagery to the Mod beat that would have left even the Who cowering behind Moonie’s drum kit.

Unlike the straight-up punks who surrounded them, the Jam had no qualms whatsoever about covering Wilson Pickett and Motown, because that’s what the Who did. And, even more jarringly to the safety-pin crowd, Weller shared Ray Davies’ rosy fondness for a civil, post-blitz England that no longer existed, and probably barely existed in the first place. This, when coupled with enormous record sales, set the Jam up for more than their share of derision from self-consciously nihilistic hipsters.

By now, that contempt seems close to idiotic, but so does ramming a sharp piece of metal through your cheek to prove your parents are boring. As annoying as Weller could often be when he was posing, there was nothing milquetoast about the Jam once they started playing.

The above photo of Foxton leaping like an adrenalized jackrabbit was not a one-time only event. When they were on stage, the Jam jumped a lot— I’m convinced Weller and Foxton run second only to Michael Jordan in being photographed in mid-air, with Charles Lindbergh rounding out the field. This Townshend nod was utterly fitting, though, because the Jam’s sound was designed as get-off-your-ass stuff. Weller was a showman, and, once he got going, he could convince damn-near anyone to hop around with him.

Need proof? Check out the following electrifying performance of one of the Jam’s earliest and greatest singles, 1977’s “In the City.” Give me one reason why this is anything less than spectacular. (Note that Mr. Slick Presenter throws a gentle smack-down at the gobbing punks who were already on the Jam’s back at this early stage of the game.)


In the city there's a thousand things I want to say to you
But whenever I approach you, you make me look a fool
I wanna say, I wanna tell you
About the young ideas
But you turn them into fears

In the city there's a thousand faces all shining bright
And those golden faces are under 25
They wanna say, they gonna tell ya
About the young idea
You better listen now you've said your bit

And I know what you're thinking
You still think I am crap
But you'd better listen man
Because the kids know where it's at

In the city there's a thousand men in uniforms
And I've heard they now have the right to kill a man
We wanna say, we gonna tell ya
About the young idea
And if it don't work, at least we still tried

In the city
In the city
In the city there's a thousand things I want to say to you

Weller had a thing for immediately blaming the rich for whatever ailed him and assuming the only hope on earth resided in the young, which, if you think about it, was no more ridiculous than the Clash suggesting Karl Marx and Toots & the Maytals could save the day. His eventual awareness that it wasn’t quite that easy was certainly one of the things that led to the Jam falling apart, although, as I already said, other less idealistic factors were just as important.

The line that redeems “In the City,” though, that adds a sense of encroaching melancholy and gives it more of a grounding in reality, is this: “And if it don’t work, at least we still tried.” That’s a degree of maturity that was in short supply on the original punk scene, where having no answer whatsoever was usually viewed as an answer, and admitting self-doubt was tantamount to being a pussy.

All Around the World

The other tune that’s mentioned in the video clip, “All Around the World,” gets my vote as the most powerful of all the Jam’s early singles, and is simply one of the greatest rock & roll records of all time. Play it LOUD to get the full impact!

"All Around the World"

Oi!

All over the country
(We want a new direction)
I said all over this land
(We need a reaction)
Well there should be a youth explosion
(Inflate creation)
But something we can command

What's the point in saying “destroy”
I want a new life for everywhere

We want a direction
(All over the country)
I said I want a reaction
(All over this land)
You got to get up and be there
(A youth explosion)
Because this is your last chance

You can't dismiss what is gone before
But there's foundations for us to explore
I said-

(chorus)
All around the world I've been looking for new
All around the world I’ve been looking for new

Youth explosion!

A new direction
We want a reaction
Inflate creation
Looking for new!

(chorus)

Is that naïvely idealistic? Um, yeah— so is “Born to Run.” But the urgency of Weller’s vocal - anyone who can shout a phrase like “Youth explosion!” in a commercial pop song and not appear to be shouting “Fab with Borax!” is more than pulling his weight - and the “whomp-whomp-whomp-whomp,” bass-heavy drive of the arrangement convinces me, if only until the end of the tune, that the streets will soon be filled with teenagers carrying clubs and torches.

This is what great rock & roll is all about, and the Jam pulls it off in high style— a couple minutes of sheer roar and release, with a heavy dose of hope tossed in amidst the wreckage. When your head and your heart are in the right place, especially if you’re 17 years-old, it can make you feel like Superman.

At the risk of sounding like an old-timer, it’s a shame you can’t find stuff like this on the radio anymore, and that you could barely find it in the U.S. when the Jam was setting crowds on fire with it overseas. We were too occupied listening to the Atlanta Rhythm Section.

                                                ***

By the time the Jam released what Weller considers their best record, “Sound Affects,” in 1980, there was no chance of pigeonholing them as mere punk rockers. Weller has said “Sound Affects” was deeply influenced by the Beatles “Revolver,” which is more than readily apparent in the track, “Start!,” with its bass line and guitar part lifted whole-cloth from George Harrison’s “Taxman.” But, somewhat more surprisingly, Michael Jackson’s glossy soul album, “Off the Wall,” was also on Weller’s mind.

This is easily the most “recorded” of the Jam’s albums, and I agree with Weller that it’s probably their best. The studio itself is now an instrument, with the often dense tracks featuring everything from backward guitar effects to layered vocals. My favorite cut on the record is easily “That’s Entertainment,” an acoustic-based burst of proletarian grief that’s catchy enough to strum its way into your unconscious and set up shop there.

Who knows why we connect with certain songs, but I often find myself singing “That’s Entertainment” while I walk the streets of Manhattan. It’s just a killer piece of work.

"That’s Entertainment"


A police car and a screaming siren
Pneumatic drill and ripped up concrete
A baby wailing, stray dog howling
The screech of brakes and lamplights blinking

That’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

A smash of glass and the rumble of boots
An electric train and a ripped up phone booth
Paint splattered walls and the cry of a tom cat
Lights going out and a kick in the balls

I say that’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

Days of speed and slow time Mondays
Pissing down with rain on a boring Wednesday
Watching the news and not eating your tea
A freezing cold flat and damp on the walls

I say that’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

Waking up at 6 a.m. on a cool warm morning
Opening the windows and breathing in petrol
An amateur band rehearse in a nearby yard
Watching the telly and thinking 'bout your holidays

That’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes
Cuddling a warm girl and smelling stale perfume
A hot summers day and sticky black tarmac
Feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were far away

That’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

Two lovers kissing amongst the scream of midnight
Two lovers missing the tranquility of solitude
Getting a cab and travelling on buses
Reading the graffiti about slashed seat affairs

I say that’s entertainment
That’s entertainment

Wow. If I’ll forgive that “tranquility of solitude” line that Weller crowbars in there, you know this one hits me deep.

                                                ***

The Jam’s last studio album, “The Gift,” was released in 1982 to middling critical acceptance, although the public gobbled it up right on cue. “The Gift”’s generally muddled content, with the exception of a rousing Motown pastiche entitled a “A Town Called Malice,” suggested the end was near for the group, that the engine was finally sputtering. So Weller gathered together a bunch of soul horns and a girl backup singer, then unveiled a masterstroke that stands as one of the more compelling farewells in pop music history.

Beat Surrender

“Beat Surrender” marches out all the Jam’s key concerns, everything from exhortations to make your passion work for you to a necessary cry of “bullshit,” and blasts them home with a punchy brass section and a final amphetamine ramble into the mist. It also lit the way to Weller’s work with the Style Council, but with a lot more heat than he usually generated in that particular guise.

"Beat Surrender"

Beat surrender

(chorus)
Come on boy, come on girl
Succumb to the beat surrender
Come on boy, come on girl
Succumb to the beat surrender

All the things that I care about (are packed into one punch)
All the things that I'm not sure about (are sorted out at once)
And as it was in the beginning, so shall it be in the end
That bullshit is bullshit, it just goes by different names

(chorus)

All the things that I shout about (but never act upon)
All the courage and the dreams that I have
(but seem to wait so long)
My doubt is cast aside
Watch phonies run to hide
The dignified don't even enter in the game

(chorus)

And if you feel there's no passion
No quality sensation
Seize the young determination
Show the fakers you ain't foolin'
You'll see me come runnin'
To the sound of your strummin'
Fill my heart with joy and gladness
I've lived too long in shadows of sadness

My doubt is cast aside
Watch phonies run to hide
The dignified don't even enter in the game

(chorus)

Wake me up with your amphetamine blast
Take me by the collar and throw me out into the world
Rock me gently and send me dreaming of something tender
I was brought here to pay homage
To the beat surrender

What an exciting way to shut the door on a remarkable run as the darlings of British youth. This makes “The Long and Winding Road” seem like the last breath of a bunch of crybabies, which the Beatles may well have been when they finally collapsed. At least the Jam got out before they started romanticizing their own weariness.

                                                ***
Jam Sitting

And now that the boys have had a cigarette break, let’s bring them out for one last encore. Feel free to get up and dance.

"Heat Wave"

Thank you! The management would like to remind you not to forget your jackets and purses on the way out.

Download: “Snap!” (2006) by the Jam, one of the finest greatest hits collections I’ve ever listened to. Be sure to get the 2006 edition, which is remastered and contains all the songs that appeared on the original 2-album set. “Snap!”’s version of “That’s Entertainment” is an acoustic demo that’s strangely spooky, and every bit as great as the studio version. If you also want to go for entire albums, I’d suggest you start with “Setting Sons” (1979) and “Sound Affects” (1980), but there are at least a few hellacious songs on all the studio releases.

Paul Tatara

The Windmills Of My Mind

Warhol Covered That

June 7, 2010

Andy Warhol

Anyone with even a passing interest in the 1960s art scene is familiar with the general vibe imparted by Andy Warhol, he of the mass-produced social commentary and self-satirizing emotional disconnect. He had to be kidding, right? An obviously intelligent man who conveys passion for his work and surroundings via whiney, monotone drones that sound like Zen haikus with the flavor chewed out of them is obviously toying with people to one degree or another. But it also appeared, as his fame and notoriety grew, that little Andy from Pittsburgh came to believe his own affectless affectations.

Warhol at Studio 54

By the mid-1970s, if not a few years earlier, Warhol seemed distanced enough from such concepts as sentiment and simple human connection that he might have been played by an audio-animatronic double in a fright wig. Who’s to say that the guy who stood back and sipped a seltzer while watching a gaggle of glamour-pusses toot and screw themselves to death at Studio 54 was an actual person?

Hardly anyone ever saw Warhol eat, and, when he wasn’t gazing stone-faced at other people “having fun,” he worked practically non-stop in his studio. He also, by many accounts, used acquaintances and even longtime associates for his own gain, then discarded them like old pairs of socks.

Even Warhol’s celebrated underground movies were little more than extended documents of his many hangers-on slowly collapsing into emotional, sexual, and drug-addled heaps for the benefit of his remorseless camera. For someone whose art was so often intentionally amusing, he sure didn’t seem like much fun, and you have to figure personalized emotional revelations were few and far between when anyone else was looking.

                                                ***

So it’s significantly odd that, early in his pre-MOMA career as a graphic illustrator, Warhol helped promote perhaps the most immediate and heart-on-its-sleeve of all art forms—modern jazz!

That’s right. Everyone knows, of course, that Warhol was behind the famous “banana” cover for the Velvet Underground’s killer debut album, “The Velvet Underground and Nico,” in 1967. But it turns out he had a lot of practice with that sort of thing long before he met Lou Reed and his uptown drug connection.

Back in the mid-to-late 1950s, Warhol produced a sequence of jazz album covers for RCA that stand with some of the better jazz-related illustrations of the period. I didn’t have a clue about any of this until several years ago, when I bought the minor-classic 1958 album, “Blue Lights,” by guitarist Kenny Burrell.

Warhol Jazz 2

I was just sitting there looking at the cover while the album played and noticed, much to my surprise, Warhol’s signature just beneath the woman’s shoulder on the right-hand side. Wow! That piqued my interest, so I did some research and discovered several other Warhol-designed album covers.

The first of the bunch appears to be, although I could be wrong about the exact release sequence, this 1955 e.p. by none other than Count Basie, which may be the only reason on earth to mention Basie and Warhol in the same sentence.

Warhol Jazz 4

1955 also saw Warhol designing the artwork for “I’m Still Swinging,” by Basie’s trumpeter, Joe Newman, and an L.P. by the legendary clarinet player, Artie Shaw.

Newman - 1955

Shaw - 1955

Shaw, an inveterate womanizer with a genius I.Q. who was an utter snob about his brilliance, both on and off the bandstand, surely would have despised Warhol had he ever met him. It’s unlikely he did, but I’d give anything to see it. Andy might have ended up clubbed with a clarinet.

Then there’s, “Cool Gabriels” by a large group of trumpeters who got together to record a disc of duets. The most formidable talent of the bunch, Conte Candoli, would also lay down many first-rate tracks with the likes of Gerry Mulligan and Shelly Manne.

Cool Gabriels - 1956

That’s kind of cute, actually. Sort of Christmasy.

                                                ***

From a purely musical standpoint, though, the best Warhol-involved jazz album is surely this 1957 release by the lightning-quick tenor saxophonist, Johnny Griffin, who was still playing gorgeously up until his death in 2008 (you can listen to Griffin delivering the goods live with Thelonious Monk, right here.)

Warhol Jazz 3

Dig that Hawaiian-print shirt!

I wonder if Warhol ever listened to any of this stuff on his cherrywood Magnavox hi-fi or if he was too busy injecting his sense of irony with growth hormones to bother. Johnny Griffin, after all, ain’t exactly a box of Brillo pads.

Paul Tatara

The Windmills Of My Mind

Gee, That Looks Funny

May 5, 2010

Emmett Kelly 3

I almost never mention any Wall of Paul readers by name within the body of Wall of Paul, not because I have a problem with the rest of mankind, although I obviously do, but because most of the stuff I write is lodged somewhere deep within my cerebral cortex, where no one else can get at it. Sure, other people inhabit my sphere of existence, especially here in Manhattan, where they’re even rumbling below my feet in over-stuffed subway cars. You can’t get away from the dumb bastards. But this bad boy’s called “Wall of Paul,” not “Wall of People Paul Comes Into Contact With.” Do your own writing if you want to see your name in print.

Understand, I only said I “almost” never mention my readers because I’ve done it exactly once before, in a recent post having to do with the other-worldly shittiness of the 2010 Cleveland Indians. In that one, I mentioned Jody Whipp (and his wife, Deanna, who’s simply being referenced here in a cross-reference to the previous reference, so this one doesn’t really count) because he was the one who hipped me to a piece of video I used in the article. I figured at the time that that would be it for any Jody allusions. But, oddly enough, I’m about to mention him again. Go figure.

The other day, after I posted my heartfelt dissection of the ongoing BP oil spill horror, Jody posted a note on my Facebook page saying he really enjoyed the article, but he had just told a bunch of his friends to start visiting Wall of Paul because of how funny I am, so I needed to get back to being funny.

Okay, I can dig that, and I appreciate that Jody has apparently laughed at a some of my past...well...I guess sarcasm would be the proper word. But I have neither the time nor the inclination at this exact moment to be funny. It’s 10:30 on a Saturday night, I’m exhausted, the air conditioner is cooling maybe three square feet of the living room, and Jill and I still have to clean up after the kids. So, instead of dropping the ball with a bunch of dud puns or another easy bitch-slap at Sarah Palin, I’ll just let this clip from “The Pink Panther Strikes Again” do the job for me.


Hope that'll work for now, Jody. I wonder if I still have that beer in the refrigerator.

Paul Tatara

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